We're on Hiatus

In case you haven't noticed, Unfriendly Black Hotties is on hiatus, and will continue to be on hiatus indefinitely - meaning when we aren't lazy enough to make a post. But before we break, we must pay tribute to Michael Jackson, the greatest performer of our lifetime and a shining symbol of both our childhoods.



We must also commemorate Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, and for the movie buffs, Karl Malden.

Thanks for the memories.

Our 100th post is up next. I'm sure we'll find some way to celebrate.

-M & A

Thirteen year olds are horny

I don't get the whole Jonas Brothers appeal but they're hot, they're young and one is pedo bear approved. I think it's hilarious when girls just entering high school are throwing their underwear at the Jonas Brothers. Their purity rings ban them from even thinking any sexual thoughts. Think of it as an electrical dog collar. Thoughts of girls underwear? *zap* Thoughts of girls? *zap* Thoughts of leaving Disney? *zap* *zap* *zap*

During the first bra incident Joe almost caught the bra or unidentified underwear but realizing what it was became disgusted. It's around the 0:27 mark


"i was going to throw my bra on stage at the concert i went to.
i was 13th row and i wouldve made it.
but my mom wouldnt let me:/"

I think that's pretty self explanatory.

What I like about the second video is that whoever threw their bra has great timing and aim.
This one is around 3:07


Reach for the stars 13 year olds! Joe may accidentally catch your bra! Then throw it on the floor and have a temper tantrum backstage because he got cooties from it.

-A

Groupie Tales

Over the past few weeks, Tales From a Groupie has become our new favorite websites.

The site is full of gems that read like a poorly written Karrine Steffans tell-all, only this time the hos are anonymous. Celebs include:
-Drake (He put my back against the wall of the balcony and fingered me while we kissed he picked me up and took that to the bedroom (again spotless) laid me down slow and told me “Get ready to ride the pony express.”)
-Nelly (THE SEX WAS MAJA!!!!!!)
-Shia LaBeouf (Let me tell you, for a white boy, they dude has some serious SWAGGA and beautiful eyes.)
-Diddy (He was kissing me and slipped my panties off with his foot.)
-Andre 3000 (He's a toe sucker and a FIRE-ASS pussy licker!)
-and... Rick Ross?! (Ross has got to be one of the best fucks I've had in a long time.) Yeah, I'm sure.

Are these stories all bullshit from deranged fans and trolls? Are we, by reading this website, passively participating in libelous claims of infidelity and promiscuity brought on by the women and men posting on the site?

Who the hell cares? It's funny.

-M

R.I.P. David Carradine

There is speculation that the actor took his own life. Thai newspaper The Nation quotes a police source as saying he was found hanged in his hotel room.
Damn.

Reason #54192 Why Paul Rudd and Jason Segel are Awesome

This interview was taking during the promotion of I Love You, Man and I think it has to be one of the greatest interviews I've ever seen. It is everything I'd imagine hanging out with Paul and Jason in someone's basement baked out of my mind would be like. Baked or not, these guys find ways to make the most tedious situations (40 or more interviews a day with the interviewers asking the same questions over and over) much more enjoyable.



-A

Nas and Kelis are over?

Say it isn't so!

Vibe Magazine has confirmed that my favorite hip hop couple ever (sorry Jay and Bey) have split up. Kelis has filed for divorce yesterday afternoon, citing irreconcilable differences. Let's not forget that she is currently seven months pregnant.

Could it be that he was...caught out there?


Yeah I went there.

This is truly a sad day for black love.

-M

Hello, Paul Dano

Former New School student Paul Dano covers this month's Nylon Guys. And even though Nylon is so 2006, I will walk to my nearest magazine shop and pick this up along with a pack of American Spirits so I can finally fit in at school. Wow, I am in a really sarcastic mood today. Lovely.

Many people may find Paul a bit pretentious when he talks about things he can't live without: coffee, movies, music, women, cereal and bacon. I find it honest,I can't live without Corn Pops and this cover. We'll be seeing a lot of him with Zooey Deschanel in Gigantic, Where the Wild Things Are which deserves it's own post, and Taking Woodstock with Demetri Martin.



-A

UBH interviews Chester French

This isn’t the first time we’ve mentioned Chester French at Unfriendly Black Hotties and probably won’t be our last. These two Harvard grads have made making music from scratch cool again. Their baby, which has been in the making for five years, is finally hitting stores tomorrow. So grab your mom, grandma and your neighbor with that weird lisp and carpool to your nearest record store to pick up Love the Future. If it’s anything like Jacques Jams, Vol 1: Endurance then it’s going to be hot. I had the pleasure to chat with Max and D.A. a couple weeks ago on their recent tour with Lady Gaga, their post concert antics and why they love the Jonas Brothers.

How are you guys doing today?
D.A: Great

How’s the tour going?
D.A.: It’s going well. We’re in New York right now. Several shows got canceled unfortunately because Lady Gaga is on American Idol but we’re a little disappointed that we couldn’t play for our New York, Philadelphia and D.C supporters.
Yeah, I got the dreaded phone call from Ticketmaster that the show got rescheduled to May 2nd.
Max: That was nice of them that they called you.

Yeah it was. How is this tour different from your past tours?
Max: There are more young girls and gay people.

So instead of 20 year olds there more like 14 year olds throwing their panties on stage?
Max: (Laughs) No, I don’t think they were that young.

Can Chester French fans expect a few surprises at the show such as fancy costumes or a few cover songs?
D.A.: Yes.
Max: Sometimes I take my shirt off, sometimes I wear wigs. Many of these things are liable to happen.

Are there any crazy tour stories you can share?
D.A.: Hmm...
Max: My mom made brownies when we came to Boston.
D.A.: Yeah that was awesome! And yesterday at Vogue we gave some of the people brownies which was a funny subversive way to endear them because they’re all about perfection and looks and those brownies are totally going to undermine everything they’re going for.

You guys have gotten shout outs from guys like Diddy and Kanye West. How does it feel to be embraced by hip hop heavyweights?
D.A.: It’s great. I mean we really respect those guys’ careers. To get their support is as awesome as anybody.

What music are you guys interested in lately?
Max: The last D’Angelo album that didn’t get released, our drummer gave it to me.

Is there a story behind She Loves Everybody?
D.A.: There’s not one story. It’s more of a combined take on females and it’s not to diss all women but there are certain guys and girls that like to get around and have the kind of baggage that compels them to do that. The song is about a slut. We tried to make it rock, you know?
For lack of better words?
D.A.: Best words.

What can fans expect on the new album? You guys have such a diverse sound. I’m wondering how you’re going to incorporate all of these influences into a Chester French original?
D.A.: We wanted to make an album. You know how it is when you go onto iTunes and there are two good songs on a record and there’s no reason to get the whole thing. We really wanted to make an album that you can listen to the whole way through. So it was really important to us that there weren’t any filler songs and everything we had was very unique and had its own flavor, but that together it would feel like one cohesive piece of music.

My fellow black hottie had told me that you guys are in love with the Jonas brothers?
D.A.: The JBs!
Can you tell us why them in particular?
Max: Nick, Kevin and the other one are just great guys. I mean, they show us that even in today’s world, a handsome white guy with Disney holding you back can still make it and we didn’t think that was possible.
Do you guys think you’ll be bigger than the Jonas Brothers?
D.A.: Oh yeah.
Max: I don’t know in general but defiantly in the teen or tween market.

I know you guys are named Chester French after the sculptor Daniel Chester French but what is the significance of Daniel Chester French to you guys?
D.A.: We just thought it was a cool name and we picked it freshmen year when we first started which was 5 years ago. It’s just a name we continue to like.
Max: It doesn’t have a meaning unfortunately. We just think it sounds cool.
Well that’s pretty honest
D.A.: Yeah, we wanted something that’d stick in your head and be unique and distinctive.
Yeah, I have people coming up to me and they’re asking “Have you heard of Chester French? That guy's pretty cool” and I keep telling them there’s two of them... that’s not their name.
D.A.: The biggest downside of the name is that after shows because I’m singing people assume that I must be a guy named Chester French which is such a revolting fucking name. I was getting pizza in Toronto and across the room some girl’s like “Oh my god! Are you Chester?!” and I’m like “No...”

What’s the craziest venue you guys performed at, where the crowd was insane and wanting more Chester French?
Max: Detroit, definitely. There were fucking panty droppers in Detroit, no bullshit.
D.A.: People really know how to have fun at concerts in Detroit, especially when we’re there.

What do you guys do after shows?
Max: We usually have a prayer session with the band.
D.A.: Sometimes we pump some iron.
Max: Doing a show, my pecs get tight so sometimes we alter between that and Pilates to even myself out, keep my core strong and flexible.
Yeah I would imagine it would be hard to carry around a Bowflex on the tour bus. Pilates is the way to go.
D.A.: Oh yeah.

Do you guys hang out with the fans after the show?
D.A.: Yeah we’ve always sold CDs on the street when we’re doing shows because it’s the best way to meet people and sort of hang out. And anyone like you who knows about us at this point in our career before we hit the radio, you guys are true supporters. There’s no one we’re more grateful to then the people who are riding with us now and the past few years. And outside of the shows is the best way to meet people and hang out. It's fun. Going on tour is a cool way to meet a ton of people. We’re making friends in all these cities. It’s awesome.
I like that you guys are keeping it old school by selling your CD’s out on the street.

One last question. Unfriendly Black Hotties has to know: is Chester French down with the swirl?
D.A.: Uhh..What?
Black and white... ebony and ivory?
Max: Yeah, obviously.
D.A.: Yeah. Like butter on rye.
Something like that...

Love the Future comes out tomorrow, April 21st.

Chester French in Miami

Chester French, if you don't know by now, are touring with Lady Gaga currently. Unfortunately for fans of either in South Florida, the show was sold out with a quickness. So Chester French, being the fan friendly group they are, decided to have an "intimate," acoustic set - free of charge - at Miami's Design District sneaker boutique Culture Kings.

They came in a smidge late, but all was forgiven after DA explained they were up all night putting the finishing touches on their mixtape, Jaques Jams, which they were determined to get out today. Throughout the show DA was charismatic as always while Max looked a bit high (just a bit), and gave us songs like "Jimmy Choos," "C'mon (On My Own)," "Not Over You," and of course "She Loves Everybody."


Click photos to enlarge.

Max warming up...

...while DA had a quick interview outside.



Note the "P" on Max's finger. Hmm, I wonder what that stands for...


DA and a super unflattering photo of yours truly.


Download their free mixtape Jacques Jams, Vol. 1: Endurance, out now.

-M

Hey Girl

Had a bad day? Ryan Gosling is here to help. At Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling, you can pretend you're having an unhealthy pretend relationship with the charming Mr. Gosling. He'll listen to your problems, make you laugh, and turn you on. But most of all, he'll give you that pick-me-up you need, girl.

They also have Fuck Yeah! Anne Hathaway...for whatever reason.

-M

Dim Mak Night featuring Steve Aoki

Last friday night was just another night of me watching music videos. Jen and I had heard that Steve Aoki was going to be djing at Webster Hall and we had planned to go but I was feeling pretty lazy and I was contemplating just staying in bed. But Jen kicked my ass out of bed and we went. After bullshit at the door I learned two things.

1. Don't ever call back a "promoter" who promised to get you in for free. They will not stop calling you for the next three days.
2.Dont rely on what you read online. Always rsvp online and buy your tickets online.


We get inside and Webster Hall has three levels. Underground they have 80s and indie remixes with the hottest go go dancers. I spent the first few hours down there. Absolutely awesome. The main level is mostly rap and top hits and it was pretty cool in there except we kept getting humped at any random moment. Shit son I was just walking please get off my leg. We finally got to the top floor which is what I like to refer to as heaven. (See what I did there?) My God was waiting for me there, Steve Aoki. He was amazing and honestly there are no words to describe how awesome he is live. He is a fucking ball of energy and interacts with the crowd so well. You must see him live.

All photos courtesy of CarolineFM and TheCultureOfMe







Money Shot.



-A

Oh...Hey there, Vampire Weekend

Last night I gave up watching The Office (new episodes Thursdays at 9) to volunteer at Witness' 4th annual Focus for hange benefit. Before I talk about who I saw there I want to give some information about the organization. Witness is an organization which gives video cameras to people in 3rd world countries to document social injustices happening in their country so they can give it to people who can make a difference. It's amazing and I was happy to be a part of this event. I was working the registration desk and I glanced at the guest list and was amazed at the people that were going to be there and that I was also going to see Vampire Weekend for free.
I was munching on grapes when Maggie Gyllenhaal passed by me. She is tall, and gorgeous in person and was fashionably late but only stayed for about 15 minutes. Jill Hennessy from Crossing Jordan was there and so was Rob Thomas? Yeah, I know. I signed in Matt Pinfield, remember him? MTV VJ? Barely. Our scenario went like this.

Me: Hi, your name please?
Matt: Matt Pinfield.
Me: *shuffling through papers* Hmm... Pimfield?
Matt: No, Pinfield.
Me: *shuffling through papers* I don't see you, maybe you're under as guest?
Matt: *looking confused*
Me: Hmm... no, not under as a guest. Let me check again. Pinfield, right? Oh, here you are. You are table 24. Have a nice night.
Matt: Thank You
Erin: You know who that was right?
Me: Yeah.

PR Photos

I was chatting with an adorable gay guy there with his boyfriend. He complimented me on my septum piercing and told me about him getting to travel all over the world with his beau for free and coming to the event because he didn't feel like cooking dinner. Before Kathleen and I knew it, it was 10 and Vampire Weekend was performing. They were amazing, one of the best live bands I've ever heard. We danced our asses off before leaving in a rush so we wouldn't have to clean up. So what have we learned today kids? Don't pay 30 bucks to see a band when you can volunteer and see them for free.

-A