28 January 2009

Last Night's Party Douchebag


Found a great little time waster. Head on over to sorry-mom.com and read i bang the worst dudes. With jems like I recently dated this guy who for 5 months would leave skid marks on my bed sheets every time he slept over. I never told him so I’d imagine that I’m not the only victim of his ASSault, how could you ever be bored.

How does it work? First, find some douche and take him home. After your disappointing night, find a picture of him on his Facebook and email it to Mom, telling her a little tidbit about the sad man you fell for. I keep reading pages and pages, hoping to find a guy I know and/or the entire cast of Tool Academy.

-M

25 January 2009

Songs of the Week: The Rapture & White Rabbits


Monica's Pick
It seems like I get all my fave new music from movies. I heard this one while watching the absolutely gorgeous Ian Somerhalder dance to it in The Rules of Attraction. I'm always a sucker for a good baseline. This is the type of song you play when trying to revive a dying party. Or when you're dancing alone in your room like I'm doing now.

MP3: The Rapture - Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks

Alex's Pick
I've recently taken a vow to go out to more concerts (three this semester isn't enough for me) and to my surprise I found out that White Rabbits are performing in 3 weeks at the Mercury Lounge. They played at SXSW last year and have received great reviews. So if anyone wants to meet this fellow black hottie, I will be near the stage dancing crazy and potentially grinding any nearby witnesses to this song. The energy in this song is undeniable which makes it one of my favorite songs.

MP3: White Rabbits - Kid On My Shoulders

24 January 2009

Beyonce doesn't like to wear pants

It might be the ~Sasha Fierce~ in her but I've noticed lately that Beyonce has a thing for not wearing pants. Channeling her inner jazzerciser she'd decided that she really likes leotards and wants everyone to know that yes, she has shaved down there. I wonder when her and Jay have sex if Sasha's a better lay. Probably.


Watch Single Ladies - Beyonce in Music Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Watch Halo in Music Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com


Watch Diva in Music Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

I can't believe she went all Waiting to Exhale on us. Someone got that Netflix.

-A

20 January 2009

Goodbye Bush, Hello Obama



Hope Obama's inauguration is as delicious for you as it is for us here at UBH.

18 January 2009

Songs of the Week: múm & MSTRKRFT


Every week, the hotties will share the songs they just couldn't get out of their heads so that it won't get out of yours.

Monica's Pick
I heard this on Monday while watching Wicker Park (which is NOT a thriller like the trailer makes it out to be) and just had to find out what it was. múm (pronounced moom) is an Icelandic electronic group, which confirms Iceland as the go-to country for stange, quiet, beautiful music.

MP3: múm - We Have a Map of the Piano

Alex's Pick
My friends and I have been listening to MSTRKRFT like crazy and luckily a few of my friends had the privilege of seeing them live. I was in delaware at that time so i'm super jealous. Listening to MSTRKRFT helps being away from New York and memories of us dancing like crazy in our dorm. So my song of the week is Metric's Monster Hospital (MSTRKRFT Remix).

MP3: Metric - Monster Hospital (MSTRKRFT Remix)

17 January 2009

It's like the Internet! ...but not quite


I was reading the St. Petersburg Times the other day and read a story on how the Australian government has proposed tighter restrictions on the internet. Wait, what? A democratic country is pushing one of the strictest Internet bans in all of the world? There is something about that that sounds so...wrong. What is with this censorship and does the government really think this bullshit is going to work?

This all started by a child advocacy group who wanted to eliminate the amount of child pornography on the internet and with this filter not only will it block child pornography but other information such as abortion and sex education, as well as slow browsing speeds by up to 86 percent. So for all the Aussies jacking it, expect a much slower climax or blue balls if you get frustrated. The country's largest internet provider, Telstra BigPong has declined the filter, but others have taken part and for the wrong reasons. Provider iiNet has signed on to prove the filter won't work and the Managing director Michael Malone said he would collect data to show the government "how stupid it is." This filter has spent 30.7 million of the taxpayers dollars.

Instead of installing this filter, why don't they use the money to attempt to stop child pornography from happening in the first place? I know it's a long shot but spending ridiculous amounts of money to "protect our children" blows my mind. Why is it every generation there is a group of crazy parents who believes that the world is coming to an end if their child says God in the State of Allegiance or if the Bratz dolls are wearing see through underwear? Don't buy it for your children. Quit making a fuss about things. I grew up all right and so did Monica. My mom didn't buy me CD's with parental advisory stickers on them but we still listened to Eminem behind their backs. I saw porn before I was 18...ok, way before I was 18 and it didn't make me any more fucked up than the next kid. Parents have to protect their child the best they can. Children will always be curious and go behind your back to try things out. Drugs, alcohol, sex? It's obtainable no matter what you do. So instead of ignoring your child by going to these meaningless meetings to try to bring the man down why don't you read your child a book? Or check their homework because they probably didn't do it. Unless you're in America and you're one of these right wing nuts who home schools their child to believe that global warming is a myth and that science is fake because in that case your child is fucked on account of you and that is a shame.

I give it 6 months before the Australian government realizes, "Oh shit, we're wasting a shit ton of money on something that is providing no results." Trust me, I've seen child porn (pictures) when i was 12 or 13 and it's sick and we don't want to see it so I doubt your child will want to see his or her classmate dressed like a airbrushed slut.

-A

16 January 2009

Biggie Biggie Biggie

Happy Biggie day! In honor of the release of Notorious, I bring you Hypnotize.


Diddy is a damn fool.


And the table dance that followed.


Enjoy!

-M

11 January 2009

Breaking News: Ryan Gosling is even hotter


On Christmas Day, L.A. based music promotion company, Echo Park Records, gave us the gift of Dead Man's Bones, a new band featuring Ryan Gosling aka Noah Calhoun aka Young Hercules, on piano and lead vocals. The video also features a bunch of kids, the Silver Lake Conservatory of Music Children's Choir, dressed in Halloween costumes. Creepy and delightful.

Check out Dead Man's Bones first single, "In the Room Where You Sleep."



He's certainly come a long way from the Mickey Mouse Club.


I wonder how many Jodeci songs he has on his iPod...


MP3: Dead Man's Bones - In the Room Where You Sleep (Wrap Party Live Version)
Bonus MP3: Ryan Gosling - Put Me in the Car

-M

10 January 2009

A+B Conversation: The Real World


Alex O. and Monica B. discuss winter vacation, The Real World: Brooklyn, and the douchebags that MTV inevitably introduce to the world.

A: Slackers never fails to make me smile.
B: Have you just been watching movies on your break?
A: That and Tyra, Ellen, The View and The Young and the Restless or One Life to Live. Can't remember which one. I go to the library when my mom comes home.
(Background: Poor Alex is currently in St. Petersberg, Fl with no cable television or internet and must go to the library to stay in touch with the rest of the world.)
B: Ew, The View. Did you see the new Real World online?
A: I didn't feel like watching it. If it's semi-good I'll watch it. I plan on watching Daddy's Girls. How was The Real World?
B: I didn't see it yet. It's gonna be on TV at 5ish. I heard good things. As long as there isn't another Sarah and Kim. I'll kill those bitches.
A: Uhh, is that the whole "don't get ghetto" thing? I don't remember names.
B: Yeah, basically.
A: I'm excited to see everyone's reaction to the he-she.
B: I heard two douches called her "it."
A: Oh man, now I have to watch.
B: I don't think they did it to her face though.
A: "I don't want to sleep in the room with it."
B: "It might rape me."
A: "Let's go have a protein shake."
B: "Let's get a fucking Red Bull, dude."
A: "You see that blonde girl over there? We're so gonna have sex tonight. She's gonna be all on my balls dude. My balls."
B: "In and around her mouth."
A: "Like a washing machine."

07 January 2009

Trailer: I Love You, Man

Ok guys. Holidays are over, school's back in session (at least for me) and its time to get off vacation and back on the blog. How was your holidays? Shitty? Me too.

Anyway, we here at UBH are super excited for one of the first decent looking comedies of 2009, I Love You, Man. This movie involves everything Alex and I love: Paul Rudd, Andy Samberg, Rashida Jones, and Alex's future man, Jason Segel. Oh, and exploding high fives. We love that.



It's like a funny, kinda chick flicky, less dirty Judd Apatow flick, but without the Judd Apatow. I Love You, Man is due out March 20th.

Speaking of movies:

The Wackness is out on DVD. Great for all you hip hop fans. Or Drake and Josh enthusiasts.

-M