We're on Hiatus

In case you haven't noticed, Unfriendly Black Hotties is on hiatus, and will continue to be on hiatus indefinitely - meaning when we aren't lazy enough to make a post. But before we break, we must pay tribute to Michael Jackson, the greatest performer of our lifetime and a shining symbol of both our childhoods.



We must also commemorate Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, and for the movie buffs, Karl Malden.

Thanks for the memories.

Our 100th post is up next. I'm sure we'll find some way to celebrate.

-M & A

Le Love

Are you, like Alex and myself, single? Do you wanna feel like a total loser about it? Then Le Love is right for you.

Le Love, according to the site, is "dedicated to romantic, sweet, lovey dovey, sexy and heart fluttering images." From kisses and cuddles, to graffiti and quotes, to just a bit of sex, Le Love will make you feel dreamy and that both life and love are beautiful. Or cynical and bitter if you don't take being single well.

Find your new desktop background at leloveimage.blogspot.com.

-M

Songs of the Week: Tears for Fears & Röyksopp

Monica's Pick
Isn't Donnie Darko such a great movie? I'm probably one of the last people in the country to see it but I really liked it and it's '80s soundtrack. When I saw that school montage introducing all the characters, I knew I had a new favorite song of the week.

Alex's Pick
I am currently packing my things for Miami and needed some packing music so I picked a song with a blend of Röyksopp's digital beats accompanied by Robyn's voice. This is something only the musical gods could have conducted. They even have a video for the song and that robot's looking pretty hot.

Throwback Thursday: Coming to America

Where do I even start? This movie is such a classic. I've been wearing out Coming to America in my VCR (remember those?) since I was 2 and I have yet to get tired of it. I know every hilarious line from, "The royal penis is clean your highness," to "I've tied my shoes once. It is an overrated experience," to "Sexual Chocolate!"


Eddie Murphy just can't do it like this any more. He's too busy making children's movies and denying his babies and sad things like that. But even though he's lost his funny and replaced it with fat suits, I'll always have a little respect for him playing Prince Akeem.



If you haven't seen Coming to America yet, I'd like you to slap yourself. Then turn off your computer, get in your car, and drive to the nearest Blockbuster. You won't regret it.

-M

Songs of the Week: Nancy Sinatra & Flosstradamus

Monica's Pick
I spent all of Saturday watching Kill Bill 1 + 2 (TWICE) on Spike TV's David Carradine tribute. I hadn't realized until then how awesome the music from that masterpiece of a movie was. I've had Nancy's "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)" - along with Shivaree's "Goodnight Moon" - stuck in my head all weekend long. It was Cher's originally but her version sounds like some awful Broadway show ballad. Nancy turned into something so much better.

Alex's Pick
I was taking a trip down musical memory lane when I reminded myself of Flosstradamus. First off, that's probably the best name for a group I've ever heard. Second, the group is accompanied by two hot DJ's including Kid Sister's brother. I don't know any other DJ who can rock an animal print sweater like he can. There's something about those Chi town boys...

Full song available here.

Throwback Thursdays: Craig David

Craig David was my favorite biracial cutie from across the pond. His hair was on point with those wispy curls, and he had a voice of a R&B/Pop angel and his songs were damn catchy. His career didn't last long in America but was successful in Europe. Eight years later he's back with songs Hot Stuff and Hypnotic. I fell in love with him again when he did an acoustic performance of his songs on Live From Abby Road. Let's take a journey through time.

2001



2008 When in doubt, ruin cover Bowie


I can't hate, he's still got it. But I'll never forget this

-A

Society is getting really lazy

Aren't you just oh so tired of that "archaic" toilet paper?


While you pick up your jaw, watch this.


See what you did Snuggie?!

-M

Why We Don't Have Twitters

Awesome photo by carrotcreative
So eloquently stated by whatever guy writes for HolyTaco.com

But the fact is, nobody truly gives a shit about what you’re doing. So then why are they following your twitter feed? Because they’re hoping you follow THEIR twitter feed, so that they can make believe that someone cares when they say that THEY are going to the store to buy chex. And where does this leave us? It leaves us sitting outside a bar, at 11 p.m., confidently telling someone you’ve never met before, you have seventy thousand twitter friends.

Of course I'm sure one day we'll just have to get Twitters because at some point it will take over the entire internet like MySpace or Facebook has. Until then, we'll just avoid it til we get the point.

That said I do kinda understand why celebs have it. People really do care that Kevin Smith is going to the store to get some Chex.

-M

Thirteen year olds are horny

I don't get the whole Jonas Brothers appeal but they're hot, they're young and one is pedo bear approved. I think it's hilarious when girls just entering high school are throwing their underwear at the Jonas Brothers. Their purity rings ban them from even thinking any sexual thoughts. Think of it as an electrical dog collar. Thoughts of girls underwear? *zap* Thoughts of girls? *zap* Thoughts of leaving Disney? *zap* *zap* *zap*

During the first bra incident Joe almost caught the bra or unidentified underwear but realizing what it was became disgusted. It's around the 0:27 mark


"i was going to throw my bra on stage at the concert i went to.
i was 13th row and i wouldve made it.
but my mom wouldnt let me:/"

I think that's pretty self explanatory.

What I like about the second video is that whoever threw their bra has great timing and aim.
This one is around 3:07


Reach for the stars 13 year olds! Joe may accidentally catch your bra! Then throw it on the floor and have a temper tantrum backstage because he got cooties from it.

-A

Groupie Tales

Over the past few weeks, Tales From a Groupie has become our new favorite websites.

The site is full of gems that read like a poorly written Karrine Steffans tell-all, only this time the hos are anonymous. Celebs include:
-Drake (He put my back against the wall of the balcony and fingered me while we kissed he picked me up and took that to the bedroom (again spotless) laid me down slow and told me “Get ready to ride the pony express.”)
-Nelly (THE SEX WAS MAJA!!!!!!)
-Shia LaBeouf (Let me tell you, for a white boy, they dude has some serious SWAGGA and beautiful eyes.)
-Diddy (He was kissing me and slipped my panties off with his foot.)
-Andre 3000 (He's a toe sucker and a FIRE-ASS pussy licker!)
-and... Rick Ross?! (Ross has got to be one of the best fucks I've had in a long time.) Yeah, I'm sure.

Are these stories all bullshit from deranged fans and trolls? Are we, by reading this website, passively participating in libelous claims of infidelity and promiscuity brought on by the women and men posting on the site?

Who the hell cares? It's funny.

-M

Songs of the Week: Jay-Z & Liam Finn

Monica's Pick
It seems like so many people are shitting themselves over Jay-Z's new track "D.O.A.: Death of Auto-Tune." (Seriously. A guy on my friend's list made like 10 status updates about it.) Honestly, I'm just happy someone said it. I really don't need Lil Wayne singing to me over the radio and hopefully this song will help rappers see the errors of their ways. Unfortunately, there's no high quality version available yet, so in it's place is one of my fave Jay-Z songs "I Know."

Alex's Pick
I've been in the type of mood where I just want to lay on a beach with a book and leave all my responsibilities at home. I was unable to do that this weekend in Miami (damn you rain!) but I will be making it up this week on the west coast. Liam Finn will accompany me and my mind will make beautiful dream bubbles with his music.

R.I.P. David Carradine

There is speculation that the actor took his own life. Thai newspaper The Nation quotes a police source as saying he was found hanged in his hotel room.
Damn.

Songs of the Week: The Smiths & Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Monica's Pick
If you've ever spoken to me in the past month, you know I'm counting down the days til (500) Days of Summer. And now that they're having free screenings around the country, I'm even more psyched. So as obsessive as I am, I decided to listen to the music from the film, especially "There is a Light That Never Goes Off". I'm also imagining standing in an elevator with Joseph Gordon-Levitt but that's another story.

Full song available here.

Alex's Pick
Yeah Yeah Yeahs have always been a favorite of mine and they're back with their single "Zero" off their It's Blitz! album. Picking up their new album is on my to do list but for now I'll just have the single on repeat on my iTunes while I pretend I'm dancing on top of a car. Man, no one can pull off a studded leather jacket like Karen O.

Throwback Thursday: Daria

Being currently unemployed and car-less has it's perks. One of them is being able to watch old episodes of Daria on YouTube all day long, which is exactly what I've been doing.

Reliving the Daria series reminds me how lucky I am to be out of high school, how I wish Sick Sad World was a real show, and how much the quality of MTV has really gone downhill since the '90s. Like tremendously.

It also reminded me that Trent was the hottest cartoon character in the history of animation. All of my friend's older brothers were nerds. Lucky Daria.



By the way, who took the time out to create this hot mess? Oh, humanity.

-M

The Exact Opposite of "Spectacular"

Disturbing pic courtesy of Concrete Loop
I'm about a day late on this but damn. Just damn. This needs to be shared far and wide. If you haven't heard already, Spectacular from Pretty Ricky tried to make himself relevant by sending out a "challenge" to all the other R&B dudes by making a sad ass straight out of a ghetto gay bar video of him grinding to their new single Tipsy. And in a bright ass red Speedo no less.



Dear Lord, take me now. This is the most homoerotic R&B moment since Chris Brown's Take You Down video. They say all publicity is good publicity but I really think Spectacular single handedly whittled down Pretty Ricky's fanbase to a select few. I would feel bad if I wasn't too busy laughing.

Good luck with the new single, guys. You're gonna need it.

-M

ETA: I almost forgot. In the words of Riley-

Songs of the Week: Antonio Carlos Jobim and Elis Regina & CSS

Monica's Pick
I've been in this Brazilian mood all week (thanks to the Seu Jorge station on Pandora) and this vaguely familiar song popped up. It is just so adorable. No, I don't know what they're saying but the song got me to spontaneously dance with my friend in the middle of her boyfriend's bedroom, so I think it's earned it's spot here.

Alex's Pick
I know this is a blast from the past but this song will always be one of my favorites. CSS has what most bands are lacking these days- super cool beats with a lead singer who can rock bodysuits like nobody's business. Lovefoxxx is everything you want to be but can't so don't even attempt. You'll just end up looking like Imogen Heap. My heart leaped when I saw that Death From Above made an appearance in the video. Death From Above is amazingly awesome and CSS is crazy fantastic so it makes sense that I declare this as my theme song. It explains my basic philosophy.

Reason #54192 Why Paul Rudd and Jason Segel are Awesome

This interview was taking during the promotion of I Love You, Man and I think it has to be one of the greatest interviews I've ever seen. It is everything I'd imagine hanging out with Paul and Jason in someone's basement baked out of my mind would be like. Baked or not, these guys find ways to make the most tedious situations (40 or more interviews a day with the interviewers asking the same questions over and over) much more enjoyable.



-A

Throwback Thursday: Clueless

Despite what you heard, I am not dead. And I promise not to neglect this blog like Madonna neglects her children to go out clubbing.

Sweetie, you're 50...go home.


Anyway my throwback is Clueless which is one of my favorite movies from the 90s. It had everything you could ask for. Paul Rudd, funny one liners, awesome outfits and Stacy Dash, that girl who refuses to age. It's one of those movies that you have to stop what you're doing and enjoy every minute of it, and then use it's crap 90s lingo for the next three days.



I'm telling you guys, I'm totally buggin'.



-A

I Never Knew You

The music video for Cage's "I Never Knew You" - directed by Shia LaBeouf - was (finally) released today after a two month long wait. Needless to say, the video got me depressed.

No, not because of the subject matter, but because I recognized creepy dude in the video as that guy from A Cinderella Story. Why me, Lord?

Anyway, I loved the video, love this creepy song, and love Shia LaBeouf. Job well done.

-M

Throwback Thursday: Clone High

Clone High was one of those awesome shows that came and went unnoticed by the general public. The premise was that the government created clones of dead public figures - such as Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Joan of Arc, Cleopatra and Mahatma Ghandi - who are now teenagers and all round up in a high school aptly named Clone High. How the show got greenlit I'll never know, but somehow it worked.

Needless to say it was hilarious. I was 12 when the show came out, but still find myself laughing hysterically at jokes like this:

Yeah, that's in poor taste.
The best thing is the series available on DVD, but all 13 episodes are available on YouTube.

Not impressed yet? Will Ghandi locked up in jail change your mind?


If you didn't at least chuckle, you are a robot.

-M

Trailer: Precious

Maybe it's because I'm a little hormonal, but just watching the trailer for November's Precious (based on the novel Push by Sapphire) alone made me cry. Lord knows how I'm going to act in the theater.

The film premiered at Sundance this January, won 3 awards (including the Special Jury Prize for Mo'Nique), and received rave reviews. There's even Oscar buzz surrounding Mo'Nique. Guess she won't have to be doing anymore Soul Plane movies. Thank God.

The film also stars Paula Patton, Lenny Kravitz, a make up free Mariah Carey, and introduces newcomer Gabourey Sidibe.

Precious is due out November 6th. And be sure to bring a box of tissues.

-M

Songs of the Week: Van She & Lady Gaga

Monica's Pick
Australian shoegaze band Van She have a discography full of catchy electropop jams. Out of all their songs, however, "The Sea" has got to be my favorite. Unlike their other songs, it's a little less '80s and a little more right here right now.

Full song available here.

Alex's Pick

A+B Conversation: Do the stanky legg Brandon Boyd

Alex O. and Monica B. discuss term papers, the stanky legg, and Brandon Boyd's fine ass.

A: I have a 15 page study to do and I haven't started it yet.
B: What's it about?
A: Is caffine a gateway drug in children.
B: Ha. Big no.
A: There's been studies, Monica. You know drinking coffee and Red Bull at a young age and the effects. They're probably more likely to try to get the same effect through other drugs.
B: Hmm. Well, I drank coffee as i child and I'm not on Meth. I remember when we were on the 6th grade D.C. trip at some diner and me and my Reno were drinking coffee and all the chaperons were eying us. And then the next day they banned coffee.
A: Oh you're so edgy. By the way - at Asha's Sweet 16, the kids were doing the stanky legg and i laughed my ass off. Funniest thing I've seen all year. And yes I did laugh in their faces.
B: I have yet to go to a party where someone plays stanky legg. I'd so do it.
A: Think about what you just said and get back to me.
B: I stand by it.
A: So is it totally weird that I've been crushing on Brandon Boyd and that i want to get his books and whatnot.
B: I saw a new Incubus video on Fuse and I was like 'damn. still fine.'
A: For real. He's 33 and looks 23. It's ridiculous.
B: He coulda been a model.
A: Yeah. I just want to be around creative people. I want him to take me under his wing and teach me and do me.
B: Wow. I think we have our new A+B conversation.

Have a Happy Mother Lovin Day

Happy Mother's Day from UBH, The Lonely Island, and Justin Timberlake.

Songs of the Week: Air & Incubus

Monica's Pick
I love Air. They're the perfect background music for taking a long drive or playing while you sleep to ensure beautiful dreams. They seep into your brain and make you feel...good. "La Femme d'Argent" is the best example of that.

Alex's Pick
Incubus has always been the type of music that made you feel wise beyond your years. *13 year old self* Papa Roach? No dear...I listen to Incubus. Brandon Boyd has always been one beautiful piece of eye candy and it's nice to see that he is not aging at all, still the beautiful man that I enjoyed watching shirtless. This song is just proof that they're not the type of band that we would love in middle school and move on from. They're here to stay.

Full song available here.

Eye Candy: Wendell Lissimore

Meet Wendell Lissimore, 24 year old model under Red Model Management and...damn. I just like to look at him.

Alright, now I'll leave you two to get acquainted.


-M

Nas and Kelis are over?

Say it isn't so!

Vibe Magazine has confirmed that my favorite hip hop couple ever (sorry Jay and Bey) have split up. Kelis has filed for divorce yesterday afternoon, citing irreconcilable differences. Let's not forget that she is currently seven months pregnant.

Could it be that he was...caught out there?


Yeah I went there.

This is truly a sad day for black love.

-M

Throwback Thursdays: Foxy Brown

Remember Foxy Brown before the deafness and nail salon fights? Back when she wore long dresses and rapped with Jay-Z and was all about the Ill Na Na? Yeah, I miss her too. At least she left behind jams like Get Me Home, Candy, and I'll Be.

I'll Be (feat. Jay-Z) - Foxy Brown


There's just not enough choreographed dancing in rap videos anymore.

Bonus throwback!: Here's the original Foxy Brown, played by my idol, Pam Grier a.k.a. the HBIC.


I can't wait for the day someone pisses me off to the point where I get to say "Death is too easy for you, bitch."

-M

Songs of the Week: Kanye West & Silversun Pickups

Monica's Pick
The beautiful music video for Mr. West and Jeezy's song "Amazing" (shot in Hawaii) came out just a few days ago and I can't stop watching. Yes, I think autotune is the devil's work, but with Kanye it works somehow. It also helps that it's the official song of this year's NBA Playoffs. Go Heat!

Alex's Pick
I heard this song once and I was instantly hooked but there was only one problem...I didn't know who it was by. I was searching high and low for this song for hours and I retraced myself back to the crime scene song. "Hmm...the guy's voice is whiny...almost like a girl. Kind of sounds like the Silversun Pickups." Never ignore your instincts. Oh, by the way, the video is awesome and I am in total envy of the drummer.

Hello, Paul Dano

Former New School student Paul Dano covers this month's Nylon Guys. And even though Nylon is so 2006, I will walk to my nearest magazine shop and pick this up along with a pack of American Spirits so I can finally fit in at school. Wow, I am in a really sarcastic mood today. Lovely.

Many people may find Paul a bit pretentious when he talks about things he can't live without: coffee, movies, music, women, cereal and bacon. I find it honest,I can't live without Corn Pops and this cover. We'll be seeing a lot of him with Zooey Deschanel in Gigantic, Where the Wild Things Are which deserves it's own post, and Taking Woodstock with Demetri Martin.



-A

Rap + Children = Comedy

I watched this entire video with my mouth open. There are no words.



Ole girl in the back should just sit this one out. Little Red's got it.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!


I'm just glad his parents found the censored version for him.
I want a little dancing ginger kid, too.

-M

Throwback Thursdays: Rugrats

I'm taking a break from flashy bling bling music videos to talk about one of the greatest cartoons from the 90s. I'm talking about the Rugrats. Now I don't know how to describe the amount of awesome this show was but the intro alone gives me chills and flashbacks. I'll even admit that I watched the All Grown Up episodes -- not as cool.



Now only if I could get all the seasons on DVD on my Amazon wish list...

-A

UBH interviews Chester French

This isn’t the first time we’ve mentioned Chester French at Unfriendly Black Hotties and probably won’t be our last. These two Harvard grads have made making music from scratch cool again. Their baby, which has been in the making for five years, is finally hitting stores tomorrow. So grab your mom, grandma and your neighbor with that weird lisp and carpool to your nearest record store to pick up Love the Future. If it’s anything like Jacques Jams, Vol 1: Endurance then it’s going to be hot. I had the pleasure to chat with Max and D.A. a couple weeks ago on their recent tour with Lady Gaga, their post concert antics and why they love the Jonas Brothers.

How are you guys doing today?
D.A: Great

How’s the tour going?
D.A.: It’s going well. We’re in New York right now. Several shows got canceled unfortunately because Lady Gaga is on American Idol but we’re a little disappointed that we couldn’t play for our New York, Philadelphia and D.C supporters.
Yeah, I got the dreaded phone call from Ticketmaster that the show got rescheduled to May 2nd.
Max: That was nice of them that they called you.

Yeah it was. How is this tour different from your past tours?
Max: There are more young girls and gay people.

So instead of 20 year olds there more like 14 year olds throwing their panties on stage?
Max: (Laughs) No, I don’t think they were that young.

Can Chester French fans expect a few surprises at the show such as fancy costumes or a few cover songs?
D.A.: Yes.
Max: Sometimes I take my shirt off, sometimes I wear wigs. Many of these things are liable to happen.

Are there any crazy tour stories you can share?
D.A.: Hmm...
Max: My mom made brownies when we came to Boston.
D.A.: Yeah that was awesome! And yesterday at Vogue we gave some of the people brownies which was a funny subversive way to endear them because they’re all about perfection and looks and those brownies are totally going to undermine everything they’re going for.

You guys have gotten shout outs from guys like Diddy and Kanye West. How does it feel to be embraced by hip hop heavyweights?
D.A.: It’s great. I mean we really respect those guys’ careers. To get their support is as awesome as anybody.

What music are you guys interested in lately?
Max: The last D’Angelo album that didn’t get released, our drummer gave it to me.

Is there a story behind She Loves Everybody?
D.A.: There’s not one story. It’s more of a combined take on females and it’s not to diss all women but there are certain guys and girls that like to get around and have the kind of baggage that compels them to do that. The song is about a slut. We tried to make it rock, you know?
For lack of better words?
D.A.: Best words.

What can fans expect on the new album? You guys have such a diverse sound. I’m wondering how you’re going to incorporate all of these influences into a Chester French original?
D.A.: We wanted to make an album. You know how it is when you go onto iTunes and there are two good songs on a record and there’s no reason to get the whole thing. We really wanted to make an album that you can listen to the whole way through. So it was really important to us that there weren’t any filler songs and everything we had was very unique and had its own flavor, but that together it would feel like one cohesive piece of music.

My fellow black hottie had told me that you guys are in love with the Jonas brothers?
D.A.: The JBs!
Can you tell us why them in particular?
Max: Nick, Kevin and the other one are just great guys. I mean, they show us that even in today’s world, a handsome white guy with Disney holding you back can still make it and we didn’t think that was possible.
Do you guys think you’ll be bigger than the Jonas Brothers?
D.A.: Oh yeah.
Max: I don’t know in general but defiantly in the teen or tween market.

I know you guys are named Chester French after the sculptor Daniel Chester French but what is the significance of Daniel Chester French to you guys?
D.A.: We just thought it was a cool name and we picked it freshmen year when we first started which was 5 years ago. It’s just a name we continue to like.
Max: It doesn’t have a meaning unfortunately. We just think it sounds cool.
Well that’s pretty honest
D.A.: Yeah, we wanted something that’d stick in your head and be unique and distinctive.
Yeah, I have people coming up to me and they’re asking “Have you heard of Chester French? That guy's pretty cool” and I keep telling them there’s two of them... that’s not their name.
D.A.: The biggest downside of the name is that after shows because I’m singing people assume that I must be a guy named Chester French which is such a revolting fucking name. I was getting pizza in Toronto and across the room some girl’s like “Oh my god! Are you Chester?!” and I’m like “No...”

What’s the craziest venue you guys performed at, where the crowd was insane and wanting more Chester French?
Max: Detroit, definitely. There were fucking panty droppers in Detroit, no bullshit.
D.A.: People really know how to have fun at concerts in Detroit, especially when we’re there.

What do you guys do after shows?
Max: We usually have a prayer session with the band.
D.A.: Sometimes we pump some iron.
Max: Doing a show, my pecs get tight so sometimes we alter between that and Pilates to even myself out, keep my core strong and flexible.
Yeah I would imagine it would be hard to carry around a Bowflex on the tour bus. Pilates is the way to go.
D.A.: Oh yeah.

Do you guys hang out with the fans after the show?
D.A.: Yeah we’ve always sold CDs on the street when we’re doing shows because it’s the best way to meet people and sort of hang out. And anyone like you who knows about us at this point in our career before we hit the radio, you guys are true supporters. There’s no one we’re more grateful to then the people who are riding with us now and the past few years. And outside of the shows is the best way to meet people and hang out. It's fun. Going on tour is a cool way to meet a ton of people. We’re making friends in all these cities. It’s awesome.
I like that you guys are keeping it old school by selling your CD’s out on the street.

One last question. Unfriendly Black Hotties has to know: is Chester French down with the swirl?
D.A.: Uhh..What?
Black and white... ebony and ivory?
Max: Yeah, obviously.
D.A.: Yeah. Like butter on rye.
Something like that...

Love the Future comes out tomorrow, April 21st.

Songs of the Week: The Twelves & The Submarines

Monica's Pick
I didn't know whether to credit New Young Pony Club, the original artists of the song, or The Twelves, who remixed it. In the end, I decided it was definitely the Brazilian electronic duo that absolutely made this song and created the beat I haven't been able to get out of my head.

Alex's Pick
I've been listening to the soundtrack from Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and it's pretty damn good. Xavia is the best song off the soundtrack and when I went to snoop a bit more on this band I found out that they were featured in the latest iPod touch commercials. So I want to let it be known that I'm not some hipster jacking songs from Apple commercials, but is it any better getting it from N&N's soundtrack?

Why the F*** Do You Have a Kid?

Some people should just never, ever procreate. Never. Those on the bottom rung of the Darwin ladder should be put on blast. Always.

At Why the F*** Do You Have a Kid?, you can do just that. You know that disturbing picture of your 8 month pregnant cousin grinding in the club? Or the one of that needy girl you knew in high school's baby sleeping while 19 year olds party around her? Send it in and share your horror with the world wide web. Maybe if you discretely slip them the link to their parental faux pas, they can learn the errors of their ways. Then the world will be a better place, right? Right?

Or maybe you can just log on for a quick laugh.

See how long you can go without cringing at http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/

-M

Songs of the Week: Cat Stevens & Regina Spektor

Monica's Pick
I saw Harold and Maude for the first time this week (which I loved, by the way), and while Cat Stevens provided the soundtrack for the entire movie, it was "Trouble" that really stayed with me after the credits rolled.

Alex's Pick
Everyone I know is in love with this beautiful Russian songstress. She's working on a new album and I can't wait to pick it up. For now I'll stick with the classic, "Fidelity". Make sure to check out the video if you haven't seen it.

Throwback Thursdays: Busta Rhymes

If I had to choose my favorite rapper as a child, there would be a good chance that Busta Rhymes would make the pick. He was funny, unique, and original. This song, along with the video's shoutout to my favorite childhood movie, Coming to America, stole my 7 year old heart.

Now he's making Arab Money. Oh, where is the Busta Rhymes I love? I still maintain that he lost his mind ever since he cut his dreads.

Here's one for the road--

Chester French in Miami

Chester French, if you don't know by now, are touring with Lady Gaga currently. Unfortunately for fans of either in South Florida, the show was sold out with a quickness. So Chester French, being the fan friendly group they are, decided to have an "intimate," acoustic set - free of charge - at Miami's Design District sneaker boutique Culture Kings.

They came in a smidge late, but all was forgiven after DA explained they were up all night putting the finishing touches on their mixtape, Jaques Jams, which they were determined to get out today. Throughout the show DA was charismatic as always while Max looked a bit high (just a bit), and gave us songs like "Jimmy Choos," "C'mon (On My Own)," "Not Over You," and of course "She Loves Everybody."


Click photos to enlarge.

Max warming up...

...while DA had a quick interview outside.



Note the "P" on Max's finger. Hmm, I wonder what that stands for...


DA and a super unflattering photo of yours truly.


Download their free mixtape Jacques Jams, Vol. 1: Endurance, out now.

-M

Like A Boss

Once again The Lonely Island has blown us away with their new video Like A Boss featuring Seth Rogen who is looking good these days. He still has the laugh of an 80 year old, I love it. I won't be satisfied until they make a video for their song Boombox featuring Julian Casablancas. That's pure gold right there.

-A

Songs of the Week: Alka Yagnik & Britney Spears

Monica's Pick
I've been taking this Bollywood dance class for the past month and one of the dances we'll be learning is from this movie called Lajja with this really great dance scene performed by Madhuri Dixit. I don't know how else to describe this song other than just pure fun.

Alex's Pick
I was watching "Someday (I Will Understand)" and I noticed that this is the last video that we see Britney Spears in her true form - a quirky pop princess that sang beautiful cheesetastic songs. This song wasn't necessarily a hit being that it debuted on her show Chaotic. Remember that hot mess? I wish I didn't.

Sexy People

We all have our share of embarrassing Sears' Portraits that we've attempted to burn and/or steal and hide from our parents wall. You know that saying, "One day we'll look back and laugh?" Well today is that day.

At Sexy People you can submit your, your grandmother's, your brother's, or any one else's embarrassing pictures from the past. Maybe they had a mullet in '87 or some torn acid wash jeans in '92. Or maybe, like Tom over here on your left, it's just plain sad. Honestly, the less attractive the better.

Submit your mom's prom pic at www.sexypeople-blog.com

-M

Throwback Thursdays: Aaliyah

Since we slacked on last weeks throwback Thursday we have a double whammy for you. Totally didn't see that coming, I know.

I love Aaliyah and I can't believe it's been 8 years since she died. I think her and Tupac are chilling somewhere in New Mexico where no one knows about their secret love. This song will forever be my jam and I want those leather pants.

Notice a young Mark Ronson on the turntables.

This song is one of Aaliyah's first and definitely one of her best. I still jam to it, especially after finding out a guy you're talking to has a girlfriend. You can contemplate whether or not to tell her while Aaliyah croons.

All I do is party!

I am so excited for Friday that I am playing MSTRKRFT's new CD Fist Of God to death. It is going to be absolute insanity and it's the perfect way to kick off my weekend. If you're in New York City you must come to MSTRKRFT/The Bloody Beetroots show. It will be one of the best shows you'll see all year and you can meet this fellow BH. We can chat, smoke cigarettes, talk about music and our existence on earth, you know any typical Friday night conversation. Here's a preview for what I'm about to experience. I hope you can join me on this trip.



-A

(photo courtesy of Nicky Digital)

College Hill: South Beach

I LOVE College Hill. Yes, it's a horrible Real World knockoff on a low budget network (you know it's true), but it has got to be the most hilarious show I've seen all last week.

Last season was great - where else are you gonna see a guy rapping about making someone's "Booty Talk?" - but this season they're in Miami, my neck of the woods, where drama lives and breathes. Sure, the Real World may have a transsexual and a closeted Mormon, but they sure as hell didn't have a big gay bitch-out within the first ten minutes of the show. And they definitely didn't have a sad, clingy girl ironing a guy's clothes after only knowing each other for less than 24 hours. Plus, I went to the same high school as the "biracial and bisexual" girl, Allison, so that's fun to watch.

Tonight, there's gonna be some serious drama involving a co-ed shower, a pool stick, and sweet, entertaining tears. Looks like someone's going to get kicked off...

Watch (and love) College Hill: South Beach tonight @ 10 on BET.

-M

Songs of the Week: Ratatat & Kings of Leon

Monica's Pick
Ratatat is coming to town and while I don't have tickets, I'm staying positive that I'll get there by listening to Classics on repeat. There's always one song off the album that grabs me and currently, Loud Pipes is it. Some indie rapper needs to sample this -- I mean Kid Cudi already sampled Tacobel Canon

Alex's Pick
I love Kings of Leon and this song is perfect. It's sultry and sexy and it's giving me dirty thoughts for this Friday (that's for another post). I can see why they're the hot band of the moment.

Full song available here.

Slacking

Yeah we've been slacking this week. Can you blame us? We're college students.

So to make up for the lack of updates, here's all the posts we would've had this week in one.

- Shia LaBeouf coming home to a nice little birthday "surprise."


- The new trailer for Spike Jonze's adaptation of everyone's favorite childhood book Where the Wild Things Are (you know you wanna see this).


- A hungry Pharrell Williams attempting to entertain soulless McDonald's workers in France.


- And here's a clip from Martin for nostalgia's sake. Best part's at 1:45.



In other news, big things are coming up on UBH, so stay tuned.

-M

Songs of the Week: Violent Femmes & Jamie Foxx

Monica's Pick
If you've watched any TV in the last week, this song has been embedded in your brain courtesy of the constant Adventureland commercials. Now, not only did I just have to download the song, but I also really wanna see Adventureland next weekend. I guess advertising works.

Alex's Pick
I can't get away from this song which I don't particularly mind. It's catchy but I love this song because the video is wtf worthy. Ron Howard, Jake Gyllenhaal, Forest Whitaker and Samuel L. Jackson at the club? Count me in.