Society is getting really lazy

Aren't you just oh so tired of that "archaic" toilet paper?


While you pick up your jaw, watch this.


See what you did Snuggie?!

-M

Thirteen year olds are horny

I don't get the whole Jonas Brothers appeal but they're hot, they're young and one is pedo bear approved. I think it's hilarious when girls just entering high school are throwing their underwear at the Jonas Brothers. Their purity rings ban them from even thinking any sexual thoughts. Think of it as an electrical dog collar. Thoughts of girls underwear? *zap* Thoughts of girls? *zap* Thoughts of leaving Disney? *zap* *zap* *zap*

During the first bra incident Joe almost caught the bra or unidentified underwear but realizing what it was became disgusted. It's around the 0:27 mark


"i was going to throw my bra on stage at the concert i went to.
i was 13th row and i wouldve made it.
but my mom wouldnt let me:/"

I think that's pretty self explanatory.

What I like about the second video is that whoever threw their bra has great timing and aim.
This one is around 3:07


Reach for the stars 13 year olds! Joe may accidentally catch your bra! Then throw it on the floor and have a temper tantrum backstage because he got cooties from it.

-A

Groupie Tales

Over the past few weeks, Tales From a Groupie has become our new favorite websites.

The site is full of gems that read like a poorly written Karrine Steffans tell-all, only this time the hos are anonymous. Celebs include:
-Drake (He put my back against the wall of the balcony and fingered me while we kissed he picked me up and took that to the bedroom (again spotless) laid me down slow and told me “Get ready to ride the pony express.”)
-Nelly (THE SEX WAS MAJA!!!!!!)
-Shia LaBeouf (Let me tell you, for a white boy, they dude has some serious SWAGGA and beautiful eyes.)
-Diddy (He was kissing me and slipped my panties off with his foot.)
-Andre 3000 (He's a toe sucker and a FIRE-ASS pussy licker!)
-and... Rick Ross?! (Ross has got to be one of the best fucks I've had in a long time.) Yeah, I'm sure.

Are these stories all bullshit from deranged fans and trolls? Are we, by reading this website, passively participating in libelous claims of infidelity and promiscuity brought on by the women and men posting on the site?

Who the hell cares? It's funny.

-M

The Exact Opposite of "Spectacular"

Disturbing pic courtesy of Concrete Loop
I'm about a day late on this but damn. Just damn. This needs to be shared far and wide. If you haven't heard already, Spectacular from Pretty Ricky tried to make himself relevant by sending out a "challenge" to all the other R&B dudes by making a sad ass straight out of a ghetto gay bar video of him grinding to their new single Tipsy. And in a bright ass red Speedo no less.



Dear Lord, take me now. This is the most homoerotic R&B moment since Chris Brown's Take You Down video. They say all publicity is good publicity but I really think Spectacular single handedly whittled down Pretty Ricky's fanbase to a select few. I would feel bad if I wasn't too busy laughing.

Good luck with the new single, guys. You're gonna need it.

-M

ETA: I almost forgot. In the words of Riley-

Reason #54192 Why Paul Rudd and Jason Segel are Awesome

This interview was taking during the promotion of I Love You, Man and I think it has to be one of the greatest interviews I've ever seen. It is everything I'd imagine hanging out with Paul and Jason in someone's basement baked out of my mind would be like. Baked or not, these guys find ways to make the most tedious situations (40 or more interviews a day with the interviewers asking the same questions over and over) much more enjoyable.



-A

Have a Happy Mother Lovin Day

Happy Mother's Day from UBH, The Lonely Island, and Justin Timberlake.

Rap + Children = Comedy

I watched this entire video with my mouth open. There are no words.



Ole girl in the back should just sit this one out. Little Red's got it.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!


I'm just glad his parents found the censored version for him.
I want a little dancing ginger kid, too.

-M

Slacking

Yeah we've been slacking this week. Can you blame us? We're college students.

So to make up for the lack of updates, here's all the posts we would've had this week in one.

- Shia LaBeouf coming home to a nice little birthday "surprise."


- The new trailer for Spike Jonze's adaptation of everyone's favorite childhood book Where the Wild Things Are (you know you wanna see this).


- A hungry Pharrell Williams attempting to entertain soulless McDonald's workers in France.


- And here's a clip from Martin for nostalgia's sake. Best part's at 1:45.



In other news, big things are coming up on UBH, so stay tuned.

-M

LJ Secret

Love PostSecret but wish you could read people's deepest darkest secrets daily instead of every Sunday? Well now you can. LiveJournal has their own version of Post Secret which is basically secrets from 14 year olds who get rejected from Post Secret because they're secrets aren't really secrets. Sounds kind of mean but it brings the lawlz.

I'm sorry, that's funny.

-A

Hey Girl

Had a bad day? Ryan Gosling is here to help. At Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling, you can pretend you're having an unhealthy pretend relationship with the charming Mr. Gosling. He'll listen to your problems, make you laugh, and turn you on. But most of all, he'll give you that pick-me-up you need, girl.

They also have Fuck Yeah! Anne Hathaway...for whatever reason.

-M

Robot Chicken

I've been laughing my ass off to this clip with Kathleen so if you see us out and about you'll see us randomly say "I'm just me!" with a big grin. This got started when Jen, Kathleen and I were having our 90s cheesetastic music party while doing homework and I played Hilary Duff and Jen wasn't feeling it at all so we had this discussion about her and that brought up the robot chicken clip. Seth Green is a comedic genius.



Yes I am a sick fuck in case you were wondering.

Nick Hoult finds Anne Frank a laughing matter.

-A

F*** My Life

Had a bad Valentine's Day? Just experienced the most embarrassing moment of your life? Head over to fmylife.com and share your sad, amusing pain. Join the painfully awkward ranks of:

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
and
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

Sure, 60% of them are probably fake, but that doesn't make them any less funny. I'm thinking of sending one saying, "Today, while working at a liquor store, this goofy kid with glasses spilled a whole six pack of beer. When I asked if he did it, he said, "No. And you should really clean this up. Someone could really hurt themselves," and walked away. FML

See what I did there?

-M

And all that jizz!

Love The Lonely Island? Love SNL Digital Shorts? Love musical references? Love jizz? If you said yes to any of these questions, head on over to Kung Fu Nation and get your very own All That Jizz (in my pants) shirt.

C'mon babe, why don't we paint the town...

Also, check out The Lonely Island's other wonderfully original shirts. May I suggest the amazing "Charming" shirt, owned by yours truly.

Go spend your money at kungfunation.com

-M

Goodbye Bush, Hello Obama

Hope Obama's inauguration is as delicious for you as it is for us here at UBH.

Bush stays ducking haters

So I'm chilling in my room, listening to Gnarles Barkley, when my aunt bursts in on her cell phone, laughing, and telling me to turn to CNN. "Good news...er...bad news," she said as I turned on the TV. That's when I see President Bush ducking shoes. SHOES! I don't think I've ever witnessed anything more bizarre happen to the president since he fell off his Segway. I'm more surprised it took about 8 years for somebody to actually throw anything at Bush, let alone a shoe.


"This is a farewell kiss, dog!"
Iraqis don't play that.

The funniest thing to me about the whole thing is Bush's face. No matter what, he always seems to have this look on his face that is part bewildered/part amused. I bet if someone threw shoes at Obama he'd be like, "Now-now-now hold on there, uhh, sir. Let's, uhhh, be cool here."

-M

The Lonely Island

The comedy trio from Los Angeles who now works at SNL have made a new digital short for their song "Jizz in My Pants". The video is hilarious and I was afraid that they were never going to make anything close to their other hilarious skits such as Dear Sister, Lazy Sunday and Dick in a Box. They have also made awesome skits called The 'Bu and their very short lived show Awesometown which you can check out in our link area. Akiva also directs videos for We Are Scientists as well as Hot Rod so check out his sick skills. Jizz in My Pants is from their debut album Incredibad coming out Feburary 10. Monica and I have even given each other TLI shirts for special occasions. The gift that keeps on giving. I'm going to be wearing my Akiva shirt today while singing "Jizz in My Pants".

A few fun facts about this TLI/video:
- Akiva who directs all the digital shorts makes an appearance as the DJ. Hot arm warmers, Kiv.
- Jorma has made other appearances in Gnarls Barkley's "Who's Gonna Save My Soul", Hot Rod, and Role Models
- The cinema in the video is a few blocks away from my dorm. I saw Wristcutters there.
- Justin Timberlake, Molly Sims and Jamie Lynn Sigler are in the video as well.



-A