Happy birthday, my little Nazi!

So a ShopRite in Pennsylvania refused to personalize a birthday cake for a 3 year old. Why? They named the boy Adolf Hitler Campbell.

Really? REALLY? OK, fuck the cake for a minute. Let's talk about why in the hell you would name your kid not just Adolf, but Adolf Hitler. I can't even wrap my mind around this. By all means, cut through the bullshit and be honest and upfront with your racism, but damn, that kid will never be able to make it in the real world. What if he goes through some life changing moment like Edward Norton in American History X and ends up not hating minorities. Or what if he falls in love with a black girl à la Neo Ned? Poor kid's gonna have to live in his little white nationalist bubble forever.

Wanna know what's worse? Little Adolf's baby sister is named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. I know.

I think I might name my first born son Malcolm Huey Black Panther Cracker Killer Farrakhan. Level things out.

-M